Memoirs of the Antichrist
Written by: Michael Edgerly
Δεν ειδα καλο και κακο ανθρωπο,
αλλα και τη λυπη μου που εγινε ποτε τους
Let me sit for a minute and tell you about a period in time that, because of me, five individuals were killed. Now, now bring it back for a second. Being killed doesn’t always mean dying, losing your blood, flesh and put into the ground for maggots and worms to make a home for. No. These people lost they’re essence. The vary thing that makes me and you the same in all aspects. I know that as you read this you may chuckle or some of you may question how it is that a person like me has anything to do with being like you. I am. These people lost an important factor that drives life and helps pursue goals, raise children and focus on what they think is important. Faith. I ripped it from them before they could even understand what it is I am. The funny thing is that to this day, these people still believe what it is I have shown them. Justified actions, so they claim, brought to them by what they agree were a knowledgeable person on what was best for them. This concept makes me sit back and breathe in what it is I do with full confidence. Some people are blind. They follow the sheep to the fence and when the flock jumps for freedom, so they follow. What they fail to realize is all of those sheep follow another sheep, so on and so on. When the followers reach the one sheep that started the advance, they sometimes realize too late that the head sheep isn’t everything that the others thought he was. I like being the head sheep. Leading the advance is something I take great pride in and I work very hard at making sure all the sheep are running in a straight line for that fence. It’s in my best interest to bore you with theories on technique, or impress you with my knowledge of the divine ideal. Also, to make note, I don’t think that anyone reading this would be doing so without at least a hint of doubt that the divine exists of course unless you are reading this because you have nothing else to do with your time. Never the less, here you are, ready for me to tell you just how it is that these people met the fate which I am sorry to say, brought upon themselves. Let’s first go back just a little so I can catch you up to speed with were it is I actually come from. Not grammatically, but were it is I actually come from mentally. I was born into a family of five, Mother, father and two brothers along with the average dog and cat situation. I personally never liked the cat or dog and even as a child my mother would spin yarn about my tortures of every animal we had ever owned. I didn’t talk till the age of three. My father said they thought I was just shy, while I respond “I was taking in what was around me before making an educated assumption.” We will leave out, as you could probably assume, my toddler years. I think it would more of interest for you to know a little bit of my teenage years so it can prepare you for later ventures within my mind.
As I reached the eighth grade my ideas and formulas had formed and I had reached a firm understanding of what I thought humans were about. Power, money and the all forgiving lie. If you had money then you could lie as much as your money or popularity could buy. If you had power you didn’t have to have money. Power could be obtained through brute force or manipulation. The combination of these three is quite endless and could be employed with ease by a capable person. I myself have always leaned toward the manipulation side of the menu, due to the way it can make people give even when you may not be popular or poor and for that you certainly have no power, or do you? I was never well known in school or liked. Most people thought I was weird and the ones who did seem to have an interest, stayed away due to the strange looks they would receive. This went on until tenth grade. In between this time I would make few friends that would last a week. This was due to the fact that I would insult them or I would be responsible for their pets’ death, or the loss of their other friendships. As I said I hate dogs and cats and I would find unique “accidents” for the demise of these critters. One that I can recall as my particular favorite was a child we will call Jeff Holtz. Jeff was a brief friend, term used just for acknowledgment that he knew me, for a couple of years during high school. He had this German Shepard whose name escapes me at this time. This dog would run around the yard and chase us until its legs would give out and then only rest for a few minutes before perusing us further. Quite a magnificent dog really, I had to respect it even if I truly hated the animal. When Jeff would ride his bike home at dinner hour he would jump on his bike and when he reached the road he would whistle for his dog to follow. A leg of thunder is about the description that would fit best for the way this beast would hit the grass and out to the road to meet his master. About a year into this relationship I could time the pattern at which this dog would hear his whistle and respond with a fleeting rush to meet his side. One night Jeff was in the house using the bathroom and I hoped on his bike and headed for the road. As I reached the edge of my front yard I could hear the truck coming from the left of my head. I bolted to the road and gave the whistle. I could still see the look on Jeff’s face as he came into the yard and puzzled as to what was going on. When the truck trampled over his dog in the road I couldn’t help but give as chuckle at the way it looked like a break-dancer doing a backspin across the street and into my yard twenty feet from Jeff. It gave a few short breaths and died there in the grass. Did I tell you that this dog even liked to chew gum? Remarkable dog really. The only thing that made the situation unbearable was Jeff’s whining and the blood I had to dig up because my mom through a fit about how it looked to the neighbors, as if that was the great concern of the day. I can not say Jeff spent many days at our house after that, although I had apologized for the mistake I had made with his pet. He didn’t accept the apology mind you and decided it would be best to keep distance. See, things sometimes present themselves as the misguided sheep and with that the average person will dismiss it as folly. As a reader you know now at this point that the death of the beast was intentional and if given a chance Jeff himself may have acquired the same fate. To tell the truth I had never given much thought of ridding of humans nor hurting them, physically, with reward. I can say I had and still do, the utter distaste for the species although I lay within its boundaries myself. I will tell you another quick story of my youth before getting into the meat of the tale. I was within teenage range and you could easily tell this with my very uniquely placed peach fuzz below my bottom lip. I would, at that time, spend my days in the basement, or within the borders of the wooded lot my parents owned, thinking and finding new ways to portray evil to my peers. This was for pure fun just to watch their faces as I described the horrible death of animals in which I would say I watched on television but in fact were inflicted by me. Most people would give me the look I was looking for, the sudden opened mouth look or the look of utter disgust. Others would roll their eyes and walk away; in this case I would come up with something so obscure in nature that they had no choice but to gasp. Those days were fun. I could remember that it was a Saturday morning when this particular incident occurred. My mother had this chic-a-Dee tree, it was just a bush I had named this due to the overwhelming population of chic-a-Dee’s that would inhabit it. Every morning I was faced with the insipid squeak of those little monsters. My mother thought they were cute? We will see how you feel after our conversation here. On that Saturday I had enough of the situation and decided it was time to help my situation with a little ingenuity. My uncle, my father’s brother of whom we will get more in depth with later, kept a unique collection of hunting books that I found quite educational. For example, it would, with great detail, explain the process of spraying deer blood on the boundaries of your property to keep them from destroying your grass. Apparently, they hate or fear the smell of the dead comrades and decide this would be a most unfortunate place to graze or what have you. With this theory in mind I then took upon myself to kill thirty or more of these birds and bring them to the basement, were I then began to cut off they’re legs and string them together. I covered the bush with these Christmas decorations I had fashioned along with pouring the blood left of them at the base of the tree. I was taught then that not all animals care about they’re fallen comrades and was forced to resort to killing them one at a time until they stopped coming to the tree. At that time I took to burning the bush to the ground while my mother was at work. I was punished but I can say that my sleep patterns were recovered due to the silence in the morning hours. Well, with all that has been said I do believe that you have a good understanding of just what it is you are reading about. I think we shall dive into graver matters and explore what it is to be me. Let us venture into when it was that everything changed and became darker, with meaning. With thoughts beyond even my control. Far from God, far from myself. Enjoy!
My father was a descent man, in everyone else’s eyes. His friends looked up to him and the business world followed suit. My family, brothers and cousins alike, found him to be funny and a true help to whom ever seemed to need it. As you can imagine, I did not. He was drunk human with no toleration and could honestly say that he would help you because it made him look like he was doing his job. He always looked down to me and drove my oldest brother into dullness with sitting him on a pedestal to high to sit upon. To this day if you ask him about it, my brother would agree with every word I use to describe the man we called dad. I will never blame the way I grew up or became what I am now on that man. We chose our own destinies and for that he is not to blame. I will however say that it is in the best interest of the parent to see what could have been and find a way to alleviate tension within a young child’s mind to form the right path one should take. This is where he fell short, very short. I don’t think that his intervention would have helped in my case but just to know he tried would allow me to have some respect for the man. He spent most of his time letting us know that he was just as disappointed in us as we of him and of course his undying love of racism that flowed from his mouth made skinheads look pale in comparison. I myself loathed that kind of sense and felt that racist individuals presented the lowest form of human expression known to man, stupidity and arrogance. As I have said prior, he liked to drink and was fond of his nightly rituals with his friends from work. I could remember a story once of a good friend of his that I personally liked and still do to this day, that would come to our house at all hours of the night to escort my drunken father home and in doing so would leave with a small glass of whatever drink was available in our house at the time. Then when he left, glass in hand he would finish on the way home and expose of the drink ware via window. Because this became common occurrence, he would oblige in purchasing glasses of the same style to sooth my mother’s anger and then usually buy another set for Christmas as well. I found him quite funny drunk or sober and with that I would embrace his entrance waiting to hear some outlandish joke too mature for my ears or some story of what my father had done that evening to piss someone off, etc, etc. During these drunken escapades my father would get himself into a wonder of problems. Many a night the police would bring him home or not depending how he was found. He spent many a day in jail on DUI charges and as fate would have it, most of the judges were buddies of his and these charges would turn into a non moving violation of sorts. He golfed on most weekends or spent his time away at his “job”. When emphasize the word “job” as such it doesn’t mean that he had a mistress or the like but it should show that his work, or lack there of, was a more important getaway then time acquired through us. Time spent with us, which always was a result of a family vacation, was doing things of his liking, such as fishing. This always resorted in us being quiet as not to disturb the fish, as well as his overindulgence in alcohol. See, an average American family in the eighties, for the most part.
My mother was a completely different type of person. She was known as Mamma and for good reason. If you crossed her authority it was quite possible she would give you an evil eye that would kill a witch, but that was the least of your problems. She was loving for the most part but there were times that it seemed she resented us being there at all. I don’t blame her. We were bastard children for sure and could drive most people into a drinking binge in a matter of minutes. If we were hurt she would display a combination of concern and annoyance simultaneously. It was best not to disturb her in times of relaxation and if this occurred she would stare at you with a contempt that an archangel would fear. It was well worth the beating once in awhile just to piss her off for the attention. We were experts at the art of manipulation in those days and it really consisted of us just nagging her till she hit us or said “I don’t care” and so we achieved our goal. Everyone that knew her thought she was a delightful and funny person, which was expressed with every person I had ever met as a child. I can say thanks to her for that skill and I can also say that I am a master at this art myself nowadays. Most people think I’m funny and somewhat charming. Fools really. She also had the knack to make you feel that any decision you could have or are going to make is foolish by comparison to her solution. What really boiled me is when she was right and you had to bear this look of complete “I told you so” and shake your head in acceptance. There has been a few times that her words of wisdom flushed over into other aspects of my life in a harmful but not surprising way. I had went through a divorce, this will be discussed later don’t be so shocked, and my mother claimed to know nothing of the divorce when I had called to tell her of the others decision to file. It came to light a few days later that my other at the time had been speaking to her and my mother commented, “Now don’t leave him till he has a high paying job!” This is not surprising of my immediate family for any of them would throw you to the wolves just to get their little fingers in matters not welcome to them. They have also eaten they’re own babies in the past just for a good story, or to achieve leverage of some sort. It, to me, is common in human culture. Most people can’t wait to screw the person next to them and sometimes they feel the need to dig a close friend or relative so they have something to fight about later. Another good trait of my mother is the way she would bullshit her way into making you believe that she was a good catholic, like there is any such thing. Ok, I’ll take that back a little, I have met a few in my life but it’s hard to look past the hypocrisy and child raping these days. That being said it sounds that this should be a good fit for her and it is but she claims she rides on the good side of the church, you know, the hypocrites inside. Sometimes something comes up and she’ll spew out some thing about God being there for you and you should save yourself, just a bunch of self righteous BS that I can clearly look past. Others would talk about her as if she were a good person as I have said before. I can’t help but think that these same humans probably talked about what a bad mother she was because we were such devils, or the fact that she could finish off a box of cheap store wine on a nice summer day, lovely woman really. My oldest brother, whom we shall name Judas, was as close to a real brother as anyone could ask for. He stuck up for me when I was bullied and he beat me when all else failed. We spent most of our child hood running our mouths to people or getting into trouble or the local town slut. He didn’t do a lot of drugs or drinking he was the sports type who would spend all day long in the basement and checking the size of his pectorals as he lifted weights. Mother and father thought he was the good son and just like the movie with the same title, he was a little prick. I personally like him quite a lot and look foreword to seeing him now and again so we can exchange our view of childhood stories. We end up agreeing most of the time but the good little boy he caters to Mother and Father and I tell them just what I thought and so they loath me. Judas joined the military and so became the hero of the family for this valiant move. Truth be told what had really happened was he could stay afloat out in the festering reality and joined to get free health care and a steady paycheck. I still think the funniest of occurrences happened when he had this one girl he dated for a long time and she became pregnant. He was in the military and sent cash home to get things for his child. As the months went on they had picked out names, planned on getting married and start the family off. Well bad choice on his part, the girl had became pregnant by one of his good friends and was only told moments after the baby squeezed it’s bastard head from the whores cavity. He was devastated and I was again, not surprised. We all have these stories of someone that has done something so hideous to mankind that they are just awed at for the rest of their existence, which I find absolutely comical that the same people who displayed the awe in the first place are nothing less of the same. As a matter of fact they go so bold as to object to such an observation when confronted. But I’m sure you are quite aware of this already within your lifetime, yes? My brother had a hate face for quite some time and it only took a few years before he met someone else and decided to get married a few years later. This makes me just as much a human stupid machine for I did the same thing with only knowing my bride to be a month! Ten years later and five children I find myself in my position now. You have to love the irony. On this note I can say that I have a feeling that most people have the similar style of household for the most part and find this part of the book easy to grasp and follow. Good, it is about to get fun now. I also have a little brother and we shall call him Jim. Now Jim is the kind of guy that most people look sideways to. If that statement confuses you then take this into consideration. He is a bit on the slow side and has hardly any common sense that can be spoken of. His childhood was spent following one of us around and getting trouble on our behalf. I love him like any other family member, he is my brother. But like the rest I tend to lean towards the side of not putting too much faith in his tendencies. He is just like the others and unless he is in need of something you will not hear much from him. It is also likely for him to sell you to the highest bidder at his own reward. I don’t have much more to say about him because he is a minor player in all of this and therefore sheds no light as to why I have dedicated my life to being such an evil entity. Now I know I have said before that I will not bring in religious opinion so on and so forth. Well like the topic of the book entails I can’t keep my promise as you can see and it is with great humor that I lend you the opportunity to discard of this book on the behalf that I did not keep that word. No? Good. I couldn’t help it and you shall see more of it in the future I am afraid, what can I say, it’s the human in me I suppose. With the small but important information you have possessed so far I can assure you all of this will matter towards the conclusion and you will grasp a better understanding just how much like me some of you readers truly are. I can’t and will not say that my disdain towards the Catholics or any other follower of God is solely for the purpose of hate. I do not hate any of these beliefs. I can say they have shaped my opinions as they have yours and I think that God plays a good role for many individuals. God is a mighty force and can do miraculous things to anyone who puts the faith in it. I am not a big follower of the Devil any more than I am God but I can at least sympathize with his ideals and find it safer to dabble in the shadows than in the light. God is a foreman that never returns to the job after break. He went to lunch after the creation and returned late. In this he blames his angels fall for human women (Genesis 6) and then floods the earth to rid of the people he has created. In which he decides to take an early dinner and I’m sorry to say, hasn’t returned since. It’s easy to say when something good happens that it’s a miracle and when something bad happens “he moves in mysterious ways”. The other version is the devil did it. How quaint. People spend their lives devoting to someone whom not one can truly say has ever answered. Better yet it is known that no one can look upon his face for he is too beautiful, etc, etc. Yet some have. Moses, Enoch to name a few and even Joan of Arch has proclaimed that his mighty face shown in the sky to her. Yet all of us are out of the question. Is it possible that he plays favorites? After all the person chosen for the arch’s build was Noah, the son of Methuselah the grandson of, you guessed it, Enoch. Enoch walked with God and became an angel after being taken to heaven, favorites or just a coincidence? Well enough of that jabber, I think you get my point. I follow neither of the great masters and I can truly say that I have no idea were my evil nature spawns from but I can say whom I have taken great example from to complete my ideals and my love from. I have been called many things in my life, evil bastard, Lucifer and even Judas. The greatest of all names so far was bestowed to me by a pastor of all people whose name and denomination shall remain nameless. He looked at me after a long talk of religious conversation and had told me how great my knowledge of the bible and its hidden books were. He could not believe that I followed such an evil path after all that I learned. When I told him that God has nothing to offer me but false pride and forgetfulness he called me the Anti Christ. I could not believe my ears and was truly shocked that a man of God called me by that title and did not try any longer to persuade me other wise. Months later I would chalk this up to be that in his heart, I must have been what he thought the Anti Christ stood for. Well, I stored that nugget in my head and moved along.
Given the circumstances that my child hood has brought forth for me, I can say I truly understand one person’s outlook on my position. Many people since have befriended me only to learn how I really feel and leave as quick as they entered. I for one have no use for close minded individuals and only take most people in, as I said before, as mere acquaintances. I must take a period here to discuss my whole hearted belief system as far as religion goes in my realm and try to clear up confusion for those who read this and know me, or think they do. This is time for those of you who do not to get better acquainted with the actual way in which I travel on a spiritual plane if you will. As I have mentioned previously, I am not a hater of God but merely think he, or should I say she for you questionable believers, is a lone provider, the main proprietor of which is himself. Any scripture you decide to pull is fine and this can be viewed several times in the bible or the hidden books there of. “Put no other God before me”, “you shall praise God in this world as well as in the next”, all that jazz that plays out to me as a mob boss with a self esteem problem. Not that he has ever flaunted his power numerous times in history and we can all agree that Exodus is a real prime example of that, true? Now what I find quite humorous if you will is that God says with great reassurance on his part that he loves you and all his children. I guess he must of seen modern day parenting and decided since this is the way it will be done anyhow then why wait till later. I can sound ridiculous at times and I will say that my sarcasm is bit harsh as well but one must ask themselves several questions when choosing faith. If God was a man or women standing next to you with no more powers than I, would you trust them with your well being? Would you even let them in on your deepest secrets or thoughts? If the answer is yes then you’re a sure human and that I commend greatly. If the answer is no or maybe then take this into consideration. He does have more power than you and me and with that power and your secrets, what could he do to you if he wanted? Ask Job that same question and see what you get. It is said that your life here is short and with hard work and staying the course, you too can walk in heaven! I personally would like a contract on that statement and I will tell you why. Let’s take a simple story that everyone is familiar with, Judas Iscariot. Now we all know what happened to Judas but here is the prime example of deals gone wrong. It is said that God knows all of his children’s outcomes and goals since creation but he does give you free will to choose him as God. With that in mind someone needs to explain to me, in case I missed something here why Judas is considered one of the worst traitors in the face of human history? If God knew his plan and Jesus told him his plan, then when Judas did what he was chosen to do he was should been considered a saint. Judas took the pieces of silver, known by God. Judas turned in Jesus, known by God. To make it even more of an outcry, Judas felt so horrible after the incident he through the silver back, then hung himself. Now, if Judas did none of this then Jesus wouldn’t have been caught, we can assume, thus never dying for our sins. A man who was born to sacrifice his life for us to receive the washing away of sins should be a saint! Yet there is no Judas day but there sure is the sacrifice that Jesus made for us, which by the way was also known by God and Jesus so explain why just before death he shouts “Father why have you forsaken me?” I sense a little doubt sir. Judas is so hated that even Dante when writing the Inferno shows Satan in a lake of ice and with three heads which the middle one holds Judas being gnashed between his teeth. Quite fitting for a man whose life was ordained by God himself to help save YOU! The thing missing is that we don’t even know what Judas said before hanging himself? He could of cried out to God for forgiveness, which it seems he did being that he was so remorseful for his actions. He obviously was a man of the cloth if he traveled within Jesus’ mighty twelve. He was picked by Jesus! Peter denied Jesus but I don’t see Satan chewing on him with one of his other heads? In all actuality Peter is worse than Judas. Judas never said he didn’t know Jesus and died for us and killed himself for the sorrow he felt for Jesus. Peter just blatantly said “Jesus Who?” when Jesus needed him most. “We will follow you” they said. Apparently they all said that but Peter. Peter has seen the miracles at first hand having Jesus heal his mother-in-law. Peter was around Jesus constantly and when Jesus told Peter of his death he answered “this must never happen to you!” Way to back up your pals, “Jesus Who?” Peter even said he would lay down his life for Jesus! This is some good stuff huh. Somehow out of all this, Peter goes to see Jesus when he heard of his resurrection and was present when Jesus came before his disciples. Sorry Judas I guess a kiss ass gets further than a sacrifice. It does apparently because if you worship God your whole life here your reward is to then sing him praise in heaven for all eternity! I wish my employers were like that when I worked my way through college because my loans would have been done years ago. To further prove the kiss ass theory you need look no further than the Ten Commandments. I find it funny how your given Ten rules to follow but have free not to but will burn in hell as a result. I think that you have no choice in the matter unless you like your flesh a little melted on the crust! Let’s take just one of those commandments and play for a minute. Jesus’ mother was a virgin, unless you count his brother James- anyway, Joseph knew nothing of Mary’s pregnancy upon his return and when told of this he wanted to stone her. Now here were you people that take the good book literally better pay close attention. If Joseph didn’t know about the pregnancy, although they had asked several times for a child, and Mary was TOLD, not asked but TOLD she would have this child. Then God, whether or not he is the divine ruler and the maker of the law, broke one of his own rules. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor (this is a quick version if not exact!) What does covet mean, defined it means: wish, long, or crave for something, especially the property of another person. I can say that God might not of wished for Mary’s goods but he sure NEEDED a person to bear his child didn’t he. He could have easily sent an angel to Joseph as he did Mary. I think it is easy to say he wasn’t very busy for he sent Gabriel, one the highest of the Archangels to deliver the goods! If he was a busy God he would send the delivery boy, a lesser Angel with out a heavy work load. If this seems absurd to you think this, Gabriel was sent for Sodom and Gomorrah for the great ashing of the city as well as Exodus and its great party! This was no Angel that served as lunch lady if you get my meaning. I would like to believe a God would do for us what we would expect of say a parent, which I believe what God technically is. Lead by example please. We preach that everyday to parents around the world and we expect it from our leaders and our followers, don’t we? Then why not expect it from our God divine as well. We were supposed to be made in his image. That would explain our behavior then and shall rest my case. I know that all of this can be argued and will be by critics, cynics and the devout. It will never be an ending to the debate and I urge all those with interest to study and make your own assumptions as to what to believe. After all no one can understand the power or lack of that God possesses due to the fact that we are human and our minds are weak and easily constrained by fear and a number of choices we make. It is easier to judge which I have done here and it is hard to just have the faith and let everything else settle in the back of your mind. The reason for me to say this is because it goes back to the sheep. I refuse to be a sheep and if it makes life easier for some I try not to judge. I will however say that it falls a little on the weak side of the tracks for my taste and hope that humans take the responsibility of wanting to know about what they put their hearts into. Then again it doesn’t surprise me to hear other wise. This makes my job of pushing the faithful to the fence easier. I have to admit that pushing people is a use of words because I push no one, they choose for themselves after being educated a bit. I never taint the information and I never lie about my belief system. I simply tell them were to look and to pay attention to details, hoping that they see what I have seen. I usually get a call or someone hunts me down to tell me one of two things. Either they are shocked at what they have learned or they tell me what a judgmental prick I am and they will pray for daily for my enlightenment. That last one is kind of funny to me and I take a chuckle at to myself, never in front of them because again I’m not trying to be rude or inconsiderate of their beliefs and I think they have a right to stand up for what they believe in. With that being said, I do however love when a person calls me with the revelation that they have been suckered all these years and want to know more about what they have missed. Let me clarify that I am not saying they were suckered by God, although he did send the information down to be written, I am saying that man has suckered man by his own weak interpretation of the word. Leaving things out where he sees fit, taking books away that does not fit the political and environmental beliefs of the day. These things infuriate me and I protest any such person who thinks that they know the good of the people to take what has been given to them and just make an amended copy for their own usage. I know what you must be pondering at this point, “You just backed up the WORD!” Yes indeed I did because as it has been said a thousand times through history, you cannot have one without the other and therefore I must admit that there is something’s that God has done that makes my work exist and vice versa. I also can verify that the ones who seem to come to me with questions become more rooted in religion than they were previously. I have had a few people begin to hate what God stands for but with time they end up going back to his faith with a stronger connection and I have tremendous amount of respect for that. I will never lead someone to denounce God, I will however guide them to make a decision with a great amount of education. Some people walk this earth to shame others for wrong doings or lack of faith, you know the bit, and I myself have caught the big end of the stick in that circle. Without me those self righteous individuals would nothing to do all day now would they? That in itself makes the run for the fence that much gratifying because without even knowing it, they are right behind me yelling and cursing my name. Watch out for that fence brother, that highest post is a tripper! Let me walk away from the bible beating a bit and return to another childhood revelation that fumbled its way past me. I was sitting in social studies class and found that I have had enough of this windbag the school had dubbed teacher. I will leave names out of this as I had before just to make it clear that I am not in business of defaming others but merely to tell a wholesome tale of destruction. This person would stand attention in front of the class and spew out facts that I have always found interesting except his version was absolutely dry and dead. It made history sound like a cheap redo of old yeller. You just wanted to shoot it, again. I have had enough of this one day and walked up to this man’s desk and began a conversation that landed me right in detention. What followed, people can say, was due to my lack of respect. I say it was due to the fact that this man was an idiot at best and felt that he should be told this so someday he may find himself looking in the mirror and want to commit suicide. He told me to return to my seat in which I tossed my over packed backpack right across his desk and wiping everything off with it. He jumped to his feet and demanded me to the office. I left my book bag and proceeded, with a smile, out the door and down the hallway. So now you might ask what the revelation was? I’m glad you asked. Humans have this fear of being brought out and they need to feel that what they do for a living and what they know is fact because they have learned it and earned it. When they are pushed into doubt or questioned and proven even the slightest wrong, they put up defense. I have heard some people say they don’t care what others may say but they lie! They are the same people who sit in their car or office, somewhere alone, and whisper obscenities to themselves. “That prick, how dare he assume I don’t know what I’m talking about!” I think at this time I will begin the true tale of what it is I stand for exactly as well as my life story in close view. I know, you think that is what I was up to in the first place. That would be a false assumption my friends, what I did do was set up my frame of mind and inner desires as well as the desire of most humans I have come across. Let us now begin and take it back to a simple fun time, at least I think it was.
From the mouth of babes
I would sit in the corner for hours at a time as my mom and dad would argue about bills and what time he needed to go to work. My Star Wars figures were in prime condition and I had great pride in that fact. Lined up and ready for battle the men were tired and ragged. Luke Skywalker gleamed at his father from the top of the AT-AT as the storm troopers ready for retaliation. Sizing up someone like Darth Vader is something no Jedi ever wanted to part of and it seemed that only his son could bring that challenge aboard. Yoda hid within the belly of the great plastic war machine awaiting his student to teach the teacher. I could barely hear the voice calling out to me and only when it reached an angry level did I stop the action to respond, “Peanut butter and jelly, mom!” Rolling her eyes, she would return back to the kitchen mumbling something under her breath. I steady the men and advance a few foot soldiers at the bottom of the four legged battle horse in waiting for Luke’s fall. This is where great concentration and skillful planning come into play. Vader is powerful and Luke has great worry not only for himself but his master’s fate as well. I would play out this battle every day in the corner of my living room by the old wood stove. No one was allowed near me and certainly never to join in. My mother would later comment that I preferred this always and would be in as trance whenever play time was available. I was told that this was of great concern of my grandmothers and she had asked my parents to have me looked at. This was due to the fact, whether it be fact or exaggeration, that I didn’t speak until the age of three. When I finally found the words I needed, they were apparently, “I’m hungry.” I would joke in my teen years as to the reason for my silence was to size up the competition before I had made a comment. As funny and witty as I thought I was being, I found it to be more prophecy than I would have expected, and I think my later acquaintances would agree! Luke awaiting his fate and yet I would hesitate to make the final play even though the game ended the same, with everyone perished, even the mighty Lord Vader. I would come up with my battle plan. This would always include the bravest of men dying first while the evil ones fought oblivious to their followers’ death beside them. Vader would never flee the scene as in the films and Luke would never give chase. Facing each other with stares of contempt they would circle each other awaiting the other to attack. At this age I don’t think that I ever anticipated fear within these two characters. It was more as if sizing up was the purpose and only to calculate the move to obtain victory. Sometimes I still think that true men or women in battle never really fear the opponent but hesitate knowing the next move could mean defeat and the loss of their ego as well as reputation with the listener of the tale later.
To be continued……………………..